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Friday, September 18, 2015

New Job, New Me | Renewed

It took me sometime to actually click "Publish" to this post. Not sure why, But here it is.

Hello Everyone, So instead of a beauty video, or anything else I wanted to talk to you guys (more of a self-expressing rant for myself that you might like to read).

So on July 10th I put in my two-weeks notice in at Charming Charlie after working there for two years. I was actually kind of scare to put my two-weeks in because I didn't want to upset the managers or have them kind of be mad at me for leaving after such a long time, but it had to be done, and It went well. I worked well and left on a positive note. 

One of my friends that worked with me at Charming Charlie, offered me her current job. She was the night receptionist at my local church, and they paid really well. So, since she was leaving to student-teach she needed someone who would take her place as the receptionist, and I couldn't pass it up. The way she described the job was so appealing. "Answering the phones, doing a bit of paper work, and when there was no one, even watch Netflix and just sit there and do nothing". Pretty perfect right? I know! I was so excited. And it was just that!

I was shocked and amazed on how nice everyone was and how different it was from my previous job. Working retail, you never know who is going to walk in the front door. How they are going to treat you, what their mood is, what their intentions are. Working retail really was stressful, especially where the store I worked at was located. The location had become a not-so-safe area. Constant shop lifters and even got robbed at gun point once. Every month it was a different story. The last week that I was there we got robbed two nights in a row. Someone decided to break in and steal our registers. Thinking that we had left the registers full that night, they came in the next morning and tried to take them, but to their surprise they where empty and luckily they didn't return. I NEVER felt safe there. I was always scared to go into work and especially close because we would leave around 10pm. I had been wanting to leave since it started to get really bad, but finding a job was no simple task. I didn't want to do retail again so I limited myself to only apply to office positions or doctor's office, but nothing. It was a hard search and I was so lucky to have found this one.

It is crazy how things like a job can change the way you see things around you, the way you feel about things, and how you act. Well-at least for me it was this way. With only a couple of days of being there I could feel myself calm down mentally. Being in a non-safe environment, I was constantly anxious and on edge about anything. It may sound horrible, but I felt life everyone that came in the store was going to rob us, hurt someone, and just bad things like that. I was never happy being there in that place. But here, I was fine. A kind of fine that was weird. Too fine. I have been there about 3 weeks already and I still feel strange(in a good way). I find myself thinking "Is this really my job, here?". Yes. I work at one of the best places, for me. Working at a church seriously has made me a better person. Thats weird right? How a job could change me? It really has. This was God's plan all along. I asked him to please protect me every time that I went to work at Charming Charlie, and he did. nothing bad ever happened to me there. He was telling me "Just wait". And by waiting he gave me the best job. Close to Him. Which is more than I could ever have asked for. I feel like this was his plan all along. I needed to be there. This is a way to heal myself without me even knowing it. I feel myself heal from all the anxiety, depression and all the crap that I was going through. It is amazing.

I can say that I wasn't the most perfect daughter. I was (am) rude to my mom a lot. I can't control it, really. When I snap I just snap. But during these past few days, I find myself thinking to calm down, think before you speak, just relax. And I can tell you that it has made such a big impact. Which is the way it should be. I should never be rude to my mom. I love her to death. I don't really know how I could ever speak to her the way I do sometimes, but I now have this control I didn't have before. And I can only think of one thing.. God. Seriously, the closer I get to God the better person I become. And this has happened just because I am the receptionist at a church? No. This has happened because of where I am and the people around me. The people around me burst with faith, they are humble, God loving people who project kindness, happiness, sympathy which there for sticks to me. It is reflected upon me in a way that I can only thank God for. Just when I was loosing myself, He grabbed onto me, and said "No, I won't let you go". I don't really know how else to explain it. How I can type it out into words, because there are really not enough words for me to describe the difference I feel within myself. How just a change of environment where you know you need to be can make you who you are suppose to be. I couldn't be more grateful. Seriously. At first I saw this as just a job, but now I see it as a way to heal myself from all the things I shouldn't be or do Into someone I should be. I am so thankful for this. I hope it keeps going well too, because I really enjoy it. I really do. Thank you God.

Thank you. 

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." 
- Jeremiah 29:11

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