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Wednesday, September 14, 2016

Going out/Alter Ego Look Video

I haven't uploaded a video in ages, and this time I really have no excuse. I just upload, stop, and upload again and it shouldn't be like that. Anyways, the video that I recently uploaded is a little crazy/fun. I did my alter ego/going out look. My friends and I say that when I go out I have this crazy alter ego named Mariah. It is really just a joke, but I wanted to make a video out of it. So here is what "Mariah" would look like is she really did exist :)

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Saturday, September 3, 2016

Anxiety & Depression

I feel like now a days, its quite common to have either anxiety or depression, or both. Dealing with it is no easy task especially for me. Recently it hasn't just been my crazy bad anxiety, but also depression. A lot of people as "What are you depressed about?", but do we really need a reason? How do you tell people how you feel when you don't really know how to explain it or not really sure how it is that you feel. For me it's just a bunch of little things. Overthinking things is one of the biggest issues for me. My brain likes to take everything and over analyze even the littlest of things. It's really annoying, but I can't seem to help it.  

The one I struggle with the most would have to be anxiety. My anxiety takes over and controlling it is difficult. Though I am learning to control it, it takes time and so is finding the way to avoid having anxiety. To avoid anxiety, I like to do things that make me happy and keep me calm and surrounding myself with good people also helps. I try to avoid the situations that make me anxious, but if I can't I give myself a little talk to remind myself that everything will be okay. One of the biggest things is airplanes. Airplanes give me the worst anxiety ever. My heart starts pounding, my stomach hurts, and I just get really nervous especially if there is too much turbulence. The crazy thoughts start pouring in, and I just want to cry. But, over the past few months, I have been traveling a little bit more than I usually do, and I am starting to learn to control it. Reminding myself that everything will be okay, and that its normal that it moves. I don't why these crazy thoughts come into my head, but dealing with it is something that I know I have to work on. 

Depression is a whole different story. Because I tend to overthink things, it makes everything worse. 
I feel alone, sad and angry all at once. Even though I have my family, sometimes it feels as if I have no one to talk to and that is what makes me feel alone. To be honest, I don't have many friends, and the ones I do live far away. Its hard to not really have anyone to go hang out with and get away, and even though I like being alone sometimes, I do miss going out and spending time with my friends. Blogging, designing, and making videos is my one true remedy. I can just forget about everything "bad" and loose myself in what I love to do the most. 

My advise to anyone feeling like this, try finding things that make you happy. Do more of what you love. If someone or something is making you feel anxious or depressed, remove yourself from that. You don't need that feeling to exist in your life and yes it is hard- trust me I know it is, but doing it will only benefit you. I know that for me, I still have to work on it and I am, but it will take time. Don't let your depression or anxiety win. Beating it is the ultimate goal for me. I know that I will get through it, I just can't give up, and if you feel this way you can't give up either. 

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